He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
