You just made me feel so damn special
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
