i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We need to rekindle our bromance
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize