He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
