I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
