we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
