he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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