Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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