You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize