True but thats because hes a fetus.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
