Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it glows. i had to have it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize