just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
