it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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