Kareoke will never be a sober sport
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
