suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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