Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
