your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
