Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
