A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
