I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am puke
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
