Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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