So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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