That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
