census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
