Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
