SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
