but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
