exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
