He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
