Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
