Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
