so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize