i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
