We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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