pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
