maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize