Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
