24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
