Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
so much tequila, so little girl.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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