I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Your cock deserves a montage
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
