I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
