I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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