I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
