that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
