im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
