Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
