wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
