Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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