There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
