did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
