The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
