i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
MIDGETS
????
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
