why didn't you poke me back
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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