tell your sister to shave her snatch
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
