on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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