But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize