Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Never underestimate the power of titties
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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