just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's shark week go big or go home
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
