It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
