Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
