I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
