Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
