Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
