all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
