This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
