can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
