ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
