How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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