you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
